Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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