FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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