I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
