I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
