I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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