Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
