You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
