He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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