3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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