they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
