Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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