hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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