please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
