so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
