just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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