im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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