I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
