Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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