I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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