i can't believe i had my finger in that
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Someone shattered a urinal.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
