I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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