Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
