jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
