idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
