I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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