i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
