Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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