Having a random hookup so left but love u
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
then he tried to convert me to islam
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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