So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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