guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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