Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
