We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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