you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
