So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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