I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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