Your favorite bartender is back from prision
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
