oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
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