Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
this hospital has no fireball
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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