Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
