He disabled his match.com account in front of me
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
