it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
