I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
