Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
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