Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
you never un-have a 4some
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
