So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
