Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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