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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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