I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
