Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
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