We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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