this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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